maanantai 14. maaliskuuta 2016

Can a man be like a woman

Many wonder if the difference between the sexes is genetical or cultural, is it a question of upbringing or unavoidable, would men like to be treated like women or women like men?
In my experience much of the difference is in the upbringing but on the other hand, what a child or an adult graspes strongly in one's upbringing or what one continually refuses to grasp, maybe it is some strong liking, some fitting to a role and not fitting to another one, seem to be strongly dependent on whether one is a boy or a girl, regardless of how one was bought up. But most aren't exactly like the role they are given but would need more room for individual variation- which one often gets if one in a sexual affair reaches for an entirely different kind of role, one not so well allowed, and then agrees to some more distant version of one's own sexes roles, that one happens to like and learn to fit into.
Another question is can men learn women's skills or women men's? In Finland it seems to be that women can learn both women's and men's skills but men can learn only men's skills. If we examine closely, why men cannot learn women's skills as well as women, we may pay attention to transvestites. They are men who claim they want to learn to be like women. But typically they grasp men's role and manly identity, manly forefigures and clishes in how to be manlike, these they grasp all the time tightly, never giving them up. On the other hand trying to be like women they take like a school task or a crossword puzzle that does not touch their identity, they just somehow survive through it part of the time and the rest pf the time they forget that task. So they trying to be like women is in words only and their trying to be like men is in their identity, in their basic ways of doing all the time. Many men, Maby some 20% of men, I do not know how many but quite many anyway, tyr to drop away everything that is woman like, all skills of women, all womanly characteristics, so the customary men's role isn't neutral to whether one has women's skills but intentionally all the time at all costs tries to avoid women's characteristics. This is a major obstacle on the way of men learning women's skills well.

Are transvesittes the men who do not know that men are typically sexual with other men, like the men's role, style so much. But most men are, they say there is lots of that in the military service. And appears to be in relationships between men in everyday life: just enjoying the men's role and men's ways of living the veryday life. And are sovinist women the women who do not know that each person should have some individual amount of each sexes and each human type's characteristics instead of seeking fro them in others instead of in one's own way of living and one's own chores?
Women in my experience aren't so much on their own tracks in relationships with men. Typically the man just sits and talks while woman says "Couldn't we already go?" and she says that almost crying and soon angry, so much pain it is to be so far from one's own likings, own comfortable ways. In my experience women typically don't enjoy life as much as men, but women seem to enjoy music and singing, sports that they like, summer cottage life, getting to know different cultures that they happen to like, variation to daily life and the insights of others, things with good atmosphere.

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Typically (in Finland and in nearby countries) men aren't at all as skilled as women. Typical though it is, I think that it propably isn't inborn. It is just so that women typically all the time reach for highest skill possible and men on the other hand are concentrated on other matters like manly looks and social acceptabily, and so men typically think of some level of skill that it is enough and so they refuse to reach for highest quality all the time. One problem is that since women's looks and women's style is a consequence of high skill, those men who reach for high skill start to have similar characteristics like women, like for example caring many things to a good state quite effortlessly and sensitively. Another åroblem is that men all the time refer to other men and try to be like them, especially in looks, style, convincingness etc, and so they all the time tune their ways to the level of the not so skilled men, and so they feel comfortable with the not skilled ways and not with their own - such is common, also in relationships of adults and children.